Difference between revisions of "Puns"

Latest revision as of 04:22, 25 August 2016

I have little capacitance for puns.

My stomach just does flip-flops when I read puns.

IC U8 all the chips.

LED blinkers make me circuit board.

Mr Schmitt became hyster-ical when his circuits didn't work.

Watt is it all about? Joule regret it.

Ohm sweet ohm

Joule know about my FETishes? Watt's the best.

Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor.

I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

My rechargeable batteries are revolting.

Yesterday I slept on a battery, it was a good power nap.

I went into a shop and asked for a one farad capacitor. They charged the earth for it.

The FET manufacturer engaged in channel stuffing. A real drain on the resellers reSources.

Cicero, Mark Antony and Ceaser having a friendly chat over a salad about politics - what's that? RomuLAN

You let tinsel drop into the power circuit? You are grounded.

Adam & Eve: More power to us: U and I shall multiply.

When the magic smoke escaped, they sang a die-ode.

Is this is a current source or a dampened earth circuit? Well, I CMOS.

For lack of one board trace, this Tantalum capacitor eternally yearns to be charged.

No loafing around - set up the breadboard!

You're almost done - solder on!

You can find his name in the RoHS Rho of capacitor manufacturers.

Knock knock! Who's there? MESI wanna share Jar cache line. Make sure to put a J-tag on it.

Think globally, optimize locally: power to the peephole.

There is no I in "power gateng".

You are charged with short-changing the electricity board on Coulombian capacitors.

When Trurl got peckish, he ordered a wire-wrap.

The child minder accommodated her charges to the best of her capacity.

Tofu oven? Well, we make chips on a SOI substrate and let them cure for a while.

If the substrate capacitance is killing you - call *for* SOS.

Waste not, Watt not.

Why is your lab in a disused train station? I want to study the Hall effect.

How are a raven and a desk alike? The former might threaten your eye; the latter might be threatened by your AI.

Why is a raven like a writing desk? You don't need to provide it with juice to get some notes out of it.

Can I play Hamlet? No, you are too much of a HAM enthusiast.

It has many good ideas, but its excuse for a portability layer is such a sphagetti of #ifdefs that this game is a net hack.

The design was so controversial, by the time we were done, we not only had the bread board, but also each other all wired up.

When CMOS designers have too much beer, they get sort of a bipolar disorder - they just PNP.

Early game hunters celebrated their power with cave murals at the start of the dye era. Today, gaming graphics requires power and die area.

Let's bake a currant loop.

You think we can't route all the signals in that layer? We'll go via that bridge when we come to it.

Lead free design.

Blasted excuse for a CD writer! I won't let you have another cake and eat it.

Can I have anything more on that chip? You'll have to pay in cache for that.

How do you cheer a secret service organization to force people to use euphemisms? PCMCIA!

He ate so many chips, he got die area.

UKIP's FET projet: install a gate at Dover.

What bright spark selected an unprotected CMOS circuit for installation at a carpet factory?

Why did he give up his sheep farm? He started selling DRAM.

All backtraces lead to ROM.

You call that a beautiful torchlight design? That is just plain Miss LEDing.

To operate this board in cold ambient temperatures, you have to add a jumper.

This board has so many jumpers, it's a flea circus.

The commercial version has the bit interchange instruction bxch. The Military Spec version uses the "bitch" mnemonic instead.

The OK for the "push to talk" device PO does *not* mean it's an approved interrogation technique.

So your conglomerate is buying a chips foundry. Do you want Fry's with that?

Desparate for recognition, the amateur musician bought a computer with lots of fans.

People take a DIMM view on re-labeling memory.

Global DIMMing: sale of separate memory chips is DIPping.

What improves electronics manufacturing at the cost of sports results? Doping control.

In the induction session we will show you how to wind a coil.

A skilled tester can get a lot of mileage out of a basic multimeter.

The Autobots invented the primarily switched PSU to get rid of humans and Transformers.

Why are some people suspicious about CERN? They heard about them free mesons there.

An E-bikes fate: get stomped on, and then charged with battery.

The tolerance of these resisters is so low, you could say there are rebels without a cause.

This vain robotic maestro is the epitome of see-me-conductors.

What's this whinnying noise from the lab? Oh, that's our charger.

If you want to see conductors on busses again, you have to use fewer point-to-point connections and multilayer PCBs.

When the geek talked shop at the chippy, he made a mother board.

Bored. Whole board hole-bored.

What's that cap doing there? It's just cos' of the phi-l good factor.

To shift the analogue TV's, he had 'em pegged at a low price.

In the sound engineers vs. pilots six-a-side, there were many low passes.

When the resellers neglected product and service value-add for quirky ads, they became known as the pun-ic VARs.

As he analyzed the alleged Da Vinci's receiver, he gained a fazed looking look.

The luddite with a chip on his shoulder.

We decorated with chip board.

Board games: e-scrabble: draw 5 chips, arrange into a meaningful circuit.

That hummer just *squashed* two months of work! What do I tell the boss? You made a car-ed board prototype.

Freud kept an analog till he figured he could digital.

To keep track of working hours, we use a shift register.

Board games: relay race: build an electro-mechanical random number generator.

Board games: build a house of cards.

Board games: outsource the continuity management and 2nd sourceing of FET supply to Bollywood.

Board games: right-size the panel of experts that decides on the right size of panels for exports.

Board games: build a house of cards.

Board games: because of the noxious fumes from scorched epoxy boards, you'll start with a wooden train set.

Anna, log. Dig it, Al.

Board games: tag: build an RFID using the oldest components you can find.

Board games: hide and (I) see-K: 1st party builds circuit, obscures markings with pelt. 2nd party has to non-desctructively find estimates for dielectric constants in used ICs.

Board games: strip poker: strip the bread board, and bread the strip board.

Board games: dress up: 1st party makes a case for the board, make the case spotless. 2nd party makes a case for the bored, why the case is pointless. Others give mod points, then go round-robin till all mod points are distributed.

Board games: sum-o: build an octal adder.

I asked for a full-carry adder. Little did I know he was a vivisectionist and gun nut.

Board games: boxing: design a retail box for your board.

To fix my VW's radio, I ordered a beetle antenna on ebay. The shipped item had half a carapace and three legs attached.

Board games: heavi lifting: build a radio transmitter/receiver circuit that determines the maximum height of the heaviside layer during the night.

Board Games: Marathlon: overclock a CPU as fast as it will still boot linux, then run LMbench for 42 days or till it catches fire.

Board games: Carat-tee: Scrape SOS chips into a tea pot, place pot on emptied board. Pour in boiling water. Serve to taste with sugar and milk.

That football player is a transistor: i.e. a transfer resistor.

Would you quench my thyristor, just standby?

How did Superman defeat Magneto? Kal-El transformed into Clark Kent and let his current affairs flow through his mortal coil.

Why didn't Magneto fight Spiderman? The web(b)er was his unit.

Why did Darth Vader have breathing difficulties? He was suffering from power consumption.

There's a hole in my lattice, Karl-Otto... then mend it ... with current, 1 Henry...

In caMel cAse, you could be excused to think that lSI.

Hot SQUIDS? Dont eat them - call He-man!

Band gap, direct, endows GaAs die with light. Band GAAP, dire end: life's a gas and then you die.

A million switches on the head of a pin? Forsooth, such a silly con.

Boron, make holes, you dope.

To buss the bus board, board the bus with the bus board.

Help wanted. Free board and logic.

How could Roman Legionnaires make do with fewer metal layers than medieval knights? They used vias.

How could you make a parrot lead a orchstra? I heard the chip designers were quite pleased with poly's performance as a conductor.

You want TSMC to help with building that mile high statue of Justitia? I heard they know a thing or two about VLSI.

I refuse to fix that plug.

I refuse to re-fuse this refuse.

I refuse to refuse this re-fuse.

Energy efficient design rules.

Your storage is too flashy! Flip-flops are pedestrian!

If the Romans had had to name a store for mobile content, they would have called it Via Appia.

What are the Gnome lead developers called in Russia? Gnomenclatura.

Ohm's Tautology: P = U/R U

V = U + I; P = U * I

V = U + I; P = U * I; P = V -> U + I = U * I

Are you sure you lost an electron? Yes, I'm positive.

No MAGEEC goes unPUNished.

MAGEEC - the power tool to cut energy consumption.

Don't dis ma Geec.

[Image of crashed black car with red lighting strip] Sir K.I.T.T. Breaker

[For most effect, make an audio version that is activated with a photosensensor by sudden increase in brightness] Flash! Aha! You saved every zero and one of us!

[picture of a leaf of rocket salad crossed through with red wand, inscription on the margin] Energy saving is not rocket science, it's MAGEEC.

MAGEEC is sufficiently advanced technology.

To make this LISP function RoHS compliant, we got rid of the let forms.

Sorry, no guided tours. This is a lead-free fab.

What possessed you to you to pay the ransom for Sir Paul McCartney and bring him to our contruction site? I made a bet that we can get a lead-free fab here within the week.

Halloween multiplexer: witch input? A coven of transistors decides.

Russia bans import of trans-sistors

Outside of a dog, a smartphone is the itinerant geeks best friend. Inside of a dog, the reception is lousy.

Those who can't preserve revision history, are doomed to re-invent the wheel.

Where would you look for a catholic Ferengi scientist? At CERN - they pay you to observe mass.

Newton invented gravity so that he could stand on the shoulders of giants.

Physics vs. politics: hot air is not an ideal gas.

With great Power comes great Cooling Necessity.

With Great Power comes a big utility bill.

Running out of atoms: No more's law.

Who could control wild power surges? The Power Rangers.

1st IP law: I*U=P

Conservation of Energy. It's the law.

A latch is an amplifier with confirmation bias.

Too slow? Don't bin it, down-bin it.

Amber trade - the original electromigration.

Short-selling maple sirup to finance marketing for homeopathics? That's a silly con on sap hire.

A electrons carry these puns along the internet, their corniness causes synchrotron radiation.

How did you gain admission to the convention? I showed them my compiler pass.

After the linear motor that used to adjust the antennae array burnt out, the mother ship adopted a step motor.

So how come you built a perpetual motion machine in your living room? - Well, when my husband and I bought this bungalow with basement, we agreed that I'll select the furniture & furnishings on the ground floor, and the rest is his storey.

Ovid euphoria! When Na+ hits the sunny side up, it makes the egg static.

Registrar Dedekind got a +1 invitation to a function by Count Peano to nominate his successor. He brought along a single with a pet adder.

Two half-grown adders had a fight. The result was one full adder.

Alessandro reached a Volta age of 82.

Marvin got a tension headache.

Something to ponder: how can you place a channel and a drain atop a well?

Knight Rider, the Prequel: Arise, Sir KITT.

Current Affairs: A stellarator's integrity was impaired as it succumbed to the forces of electromagnetic attraction.

Where can you find free cooling fins? In the basin of a sauna.

Tfl would rather employ lots of semiconductors than pay a full conductor's salary.

The laptop might be named helium, but I can still use other shells than ksh.

This chip has more FinFET than the entire gastronomy industry of Finland.

Apple trademarks 'idea' for its online religious services.

But - the sales clerk said he was selling me the computer! - That's why it's called lie sense.

Why did you ban voice assistants from the curry house? They do not respect functions.

Why is there a chip interconnect between these DRAM cells and their sense amps? It seemed like a good idea at the time. These 8 DRAM chips share common sense amplifiers.

When ageing robbers get out of jail, they leave cache allocation to an external arbiter.

Clocked designs belong to the PC era. They don't discriminate on race.

Where does the plug-in Routemaster meet the plug-in bendy bus? At the bus bar.

Do you have a taste for Ra or Cd, or would you rather be COSHHetted?

It is not lawful to put a tiger in a tank, but it's OK to replace it with a li-ion battery.

I fancy low TDP because I'm not a fan of fans.

Why does a positively massive celebrity on the beach want positive energy? Because of the i-free c.

If cetaceans could negotiate about drilling rights - they'd refuse out of fear of being bored to death.

Top Gear takes the back seat.

For an electric hob, in a black out, prepare the soup with livestock.

Someone thought of an ethics commission for though experiments, but that commission - positing its own existence - went on to show that its necessity implied the necessity of an overseeing body, and this in turn necessitates its own overseeing body, which can also be extended to infinity by induction... and to the next power set ... and that for any set of ordinal numbers with a smallest element, there is an isomorphic structure of overseeing bodies for which the commission acts as the smallest element, with every element equally necessary. Hence, even with minimal power consumption, no decision about suitability of a thought element could be reached during the lifetime of the universe.

Why won't barnacles stop slowing down ships? They are too shellfish.

65536 is well past it prime.

Jurassic Park is being re-made with genetically redesigned chicken. In one of these living props, a bacterial infection causes a brown-out of the bioelectrical power supply of the neural override. The Cluckosaurus starts gobbling up the cast. As the light technician also gets swallowed up along with his equipment, he exclaims: "Oh my God - it's full of stars!"

If there is no well, the latchup resistance is well.